I Deserve Better Than This
More and more heartache. I feel like I’ve been played for a fool. It’s Friday night and I would like nothing more than to go home to a boyfriend to relax with. Instead, I’m coming home to the possibility of not seeing the guy I’m supposedly dating because he is scared and can’t have a girlfriend right now. He is emotionally unavailable. With me, he holds his affection back. He will do things like get drunk and do lines of coke to forget his responsibilities to others and say, “Fuck it”. These are the men I get. I don’t know why. I don’t know how. I know that I am hurting from it. I know I am sad. I am on the verge of tears. My friends say that I haven’t met “him” yet. I would settle for someone to consistently date, let alone “him”. I think I will be alone or have to settle. I refuse to settle, so alone it will be.
